Dysfunctional Families

You know what (I MUST be in a bitchy mood today)--I'm tired of that phrase. What the fuck IS a "functional" family?

Outside of complete disasters of families, those who abuse each other and their kids, aren't the rest of us in the same damn boat--trying to figure it all out, adhering to the "norms" of our current society, trying to raise the kids the way we think they should be (or I should say, as our current society thinks we should)?

Note: I say current because if you do a little research, the way we raise kids today is NOT the way kids have been raised in earlier years--even 40 yrs ago....

Yes, there are certainly better "adjusted" families or perhaps we should say "happier" families? I'm not sure. But I can guarantee this...we don't take into account our genetic makeup enough so we all go around wondering why we are screwed up or why "so and so" screwed us up (usually our parents--well, your kids are going to say the same damn thing as you are about yours).

In the end, we all try to do the best we can. Will we fail? Hell, yes...but on a personal level don't we fail ourselves most of the time? Isn't that what it means to learn and grow? Besides, the affects of our family home life on us are greatly over exaggerated. The affects of our peers on us growing, well, that is a whole different ball game.

For those who already don't have a positive outlook or attitude (or those for whom it comes easy (probably due to genetics))--it maybe a constant battle but every morning when you wake up, you have a choice; to be happy or not.

And that's all that there is in this life.

The Snuggy

Help. My son actually wants...a Snuggy.

I'm Such A Damn Hypocrite

I don't know how your family was growing up but (and I think I've already established that mine was probably not real normal) at our dinner table, after our parents left and the four of us remained to finish eating (because we dragged our heels on eating the things we hated: beets, liver, turnips, etc...) we would entertain ourselves and break out into laughing fits.

Sorry for the Henry James-like sentence (though mine is slightly shorter).

Anyway, from the living room, as they watched the evening news, my parents would yell at us to stop what we were doing, knock it off, quit laughing, etc...and we just couldn't stop or fathom why we were getting in trouble for...laughing. What could possibly be wrong with laughing? How could that be wrong? I mean, my parents were just freaks.

Fast forward thirty-some-odd years, and yes, you know where this is going. I'm sitting at the dinner table with my two kids and their acting like complete damn idiots. And there I go telling them to stop, knock it off, quit and all that stuff my parents said to me.

With my kids looking at me like there's something wrong with me, what could I do but, with serious face, rip a fart, get up and walk out of the kitchen, leaving them laughing and unable to breathe.

Christmas Dinner

Well, the raviolis are in the garage drying out for tomorrow. Worst part, my back went yesterday and was in severe pain.  A couple of trips to Chiro and all is better.  

Last year, my daughter did the bulk of the work, this year, eh, at 15 not so much in the mood.  I try to get my son involved, after all, one hopes it passes on down the male line as well as the female but he's just too Irish.  Doesn't like sauce and has generally bland taste.  I'm the only one of the 4 kids who continues this tradition that my father had, so I hope at least one of my kids will take it on as well for themselves and their family.  We'll see.

In the end, in order to get them done, feeling kinda crappy, we just increased the size of the glass. [You'll note from the recipe, we don't use a pasta machine, we use the old glass and fork method--truly made by hand.]

Parenting

I don't usually say much about parenting--we all do things differently and I'm not one to tell anyone else how to raise their kid (exceptions being any kind of abuse).  But here's a fairly recent article I just read from the UK.  In the article, the author brings up a book by Judith Rich Harris I read when it came out 10 years ago.  I've read and re-read this book and I highly, highly recommend this book to everyone (not just parents).

Regardless of how you feel after reading the book, it will make you think, not just about your kids, if you have them, but about your parents and friends and how you were raised.

I buy into the premise of the book very much so.  My college minor was sociology and I've done a lot of reading in this subject as well as psychology and social psychology and Judith Rich Harris' book is the only book that both ties all the pieces together but explains the gaps and contradictions I've always encountered in both subject matters.

Here is her website.  There are lots of links and articles to read, lots of opinions. Again, I highly recommend her book above most all books I've ever read--and her writing is very accessible with a good sense of humor.  And that's all I've got to say about parenting.