Some of the Struggles of Being an Atheist

“Ah, mon cher, for anyone who is alone, without God and without a master, the weight of days is dreadful. Hence one must choose a master, God being out of style.” Albert Camus, The Fall

“In order to overcome his sense of inner emptiness and impotence, [man]...chooses an object onto whom he projects all his own human qualities: his love, intelligence, courage, etc. By submitting to this object, he feels in touch with his own qualities; he feels strong, wise, courageous and secure. To lose the object means the danger of losing himself.” Erich Fromm

Fear of Life: “...the fear of the reality of the intense focalization of natural wonder and power; the fear of being overwhelmed by the truth of the universe as it exists,..” Ernest Becker

Getting Older

I have found that the older I'm getting, the more radical my thinking has become, and I certainly no longer give a rat's ass about letting my thoughts be known.

Work has also become a huge boring mass of bullshit. I want to work somewhere that the company's culture is to never ending-ly push the envelope. Companies that believe in what they do to the point where they would never sacrifice quality for the bottom line.

Companies that I admire: Apple, Same Adams--these are product oriented companies--they love what they do, they love making great products--keep doing it and the business will follow. These are companies that push the envelope of what they do, always innovating, always striving to create the best, the greatest. I want to find a company like that and work there.

I'm tired of conservative companies with no vision, full of Dunning-Kruger people. And the sheer lack of accountability; but then, hey, there's none in our Federal government, why should there be anywhere else.

2011 Thoughts: Moving Forward

When I was still married I was pretty damn sure I'd never go back to NJ. The reasons where:

1) The place is too damn expensive

2) Been there, done that

3) Why go back, try something different

So, now it's been six months since I moved into this apartment. Six months to do some serious non-intentional thinking. And I must confess, the thought of heading back to NJ has taken root.

1) There's certainly no reason for me to stay in TX, of all places

2) Now closer to 50 than 40

3) It is what I know

4) I really miss the entire east coast

But, I have kids. Though my daughter heads off to college (please dear girl, look at Rutgers) in a about a year and a half, my son is only 12. Recently, he has expressed interest in moving to NJ-brought up by himself with no influence from me.

Perhaps, my exile won't last the next 7 years, but only 2---but what of his mother?