Crusty Old Religion Guy

Let's just get this part out of the way: regardless of beliefs, there is a difference between being religious, believing in a God and being spiritual and they can all be mutually exclusive (as far as I'm concerned, you don't have to agree, but then, this is my post).

Myself Defined: ex-Catholic, non-religious, spiritual, agnostic at best.

Raising children: I was raised Catholic, my wife, Baptist. Neither of us wanted to raise the kids as either of those. So, we converted to Presbyterian (figuring that was safer).

Long story short: We've moved around different churches, partly because I just can't stand ANY church--don't like them, hate going. But also, to find something the kids would at least like.

Caveat: Just so everyone knows, there is evidence that supports a genetic propensity to be adverse to organized religion...my father was, I am, and I think my son is (my daughter is my step-daughter so there's no biological factor involved for her--from me at least).

My "other' problem: Aside from my distaste from attending, I also can't seem to escape my "catholic-ism"--Any other church just doesn't feel like church if is isn't done the same was as I'm used to--so much for being liberal and why I'm ultimately a crusty old religious guy in this area.

Current situation: We are in the freakin' heart of the bible belt--TX--baptist churches as large as compounds and one on every corner just like donut shops. Then there are the "other" types of churches that claim to be non-baptist, they call them fellowships or non-denomination churches but they all seem to take their cues from the baptist way of doing things (like full body dunking of baptism)...

Baptists and my crustiness: If you have never attended a real baptist sermon, well, and please forgive me, those who do attend, but remember I was raised catholic so, what can I say, but a baptist sermon is like a Vegas show to me, run by P T Barnum type ministers and boy do they know how to "close" the deal, just like a real sales person--they try to get you to commit to what you just heard and pledge to the church.

Current, current situation: So, now we attend this "fellowship" type church that has it's central location in one town where the minister is, but then has satellite churches in other towns and states. So, when you enter the "church" you sit in front of a screen and watch the pumped in sermon. Also, before it goes live, you get a live full band playing christian rock and all the attendees are dressed, for the most part in jeans.

This to me is NOT church (and isn't it odd that most, not all, but most attendees are of the younger set?) I suppose if I were 18 I'd have preferred this one, with their young hip ministers singing rock songs and wearing jeans and nose rings etc...but having been brought up catholic, I just can't escape the fact that it doesn't "feel" like church. (I do the same thing for any other church as well, when it comes to communion--you don't take it unless you've been to confession and to church the week before, so I can say I haven't taken communion since I stopped attending catholic churches.)

So, here I am, still attending, hating every moment of it, out of (catholic) guilt because I'm supposed to "for" the kids. But guess what, my father never attended and we were only holiday catholics. And despite my beliefs, I'm not an evil person.

And frankly, the fact is, it doesn't matter to the kids if the parents attend or not, whether you believe this or not, the facts don't support it...it really comes down to what their peers do....that has more affect on them than we parents.